Being old is not as easy as it may sound. It's not a vacation from life's duties and responsibilities and worries, in fact it is anything but that. Growing old is not always about doing the things that you usually wanted to do but couldn't; it's not always about checking off things from your bucket list; and, it's not at all about having one last wild adventure with your fellow geriatric buddies as the movies allow it to be out to be. Old age, particularly in today's times, can make one feel quite lonely and miserable.
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Ours is a generation that jokes and makes memes about death and dying. We're edgy and our humor is dark. We've learned to channelize our deepest anxieties and fears into self deprecating jokes which behave as a rather useful, albeit unhealthy, coping mechanism. A buddy of mine once joked, “Life is the leading cause of death.” While we have our nihilist memes and our dark humor to cope with life, coupled with our fast-paced schedules that stop us nose-deep in work; have you ever stopped to wonder how the elderly cope with the anxieties of death and the miseries of whatever little from the life that remains?
The structure from the family is constantly in a state of flux and reformation. We hardly get to see large families comprising the young and also the old and those in between living together underneath the same roof. Gone are the days when children knew growing up their grandparents as well as their grand uncles and aunts, and spent their time with them. In today's society, families are nuclear and often lonely. Both parents are busy using their professional lives trying to supply the best for their children, while the children grow up in daycare centers, crèches and finding solace on the internet when they're too old for your.
The elderly on the other hand, are left to reside a life of nothingness. Having fulfilled all their duties and responsibilities- towards their profession, family and children- there isn't much to look forward to within the life of an individual who is well past their glory years. Their own health starts deteriorating, along with their reasons to live a fruitful life. Moreover, with not many people left to share their time with, it isn't a surprise that so many seniors fall prey to depression. Depression may also affect their physical health and the other way around.
Statistics are boring, but they help to underscore the gravity of issues and have a stronger impact than words. Before continuing around the issue of depression within the elderly population and finding solutions on how to help an elderly person with depression, here are some numbers to understand just how grave this problem is.
According to a World Health Organization Fact Sheet (which was last updated in December 2021),
1. Mental health and neurological disorders account for 6.6% of the total disability among older adults.
2. Approximately 15% of adults aged 60 and above suffer from a mental disorder.
3. The most typical of these mental disorders are depression and dementia, which affect approximately 7% and 5% of the world's older population respectively.
4. Anxiety disorders affect 3.8% from the world's older population.
Due to the lack of mental health awareness among many people, signs of depression in an elderly person are dismissed away as the general repercussions of being old. As individuals grow older, they become shrouded inside a feeling of loss, one that is of several kinds. This includes the loss of their peers and people they love, loss of their own health, loss of mobility and bodily freedom, loss of professional commitments and the feeling of purpose that accompanies it. To respond to these losses with grief and pain is a normal and healthy reaction.
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However, it is important to know the difference between mere feelings of sadness and depression in such situations. In case of sadness, one still is capable to experience pleasure, have good days, laugh and have positive emotional reactions to positive stimuli. Depression, however, is long-lasting. In the case of clinical depression, one is incapable of experiencing moments of happiness or pleasure. Feelings of helplessness, emptiness, hopelessness and despair are constant, and extinguish all signs of joy from the individual's behavior. Moreover, since the elderly have limited activities throughout the day, this gives them more time to brood on such unpleasant thoughts that, if left unchecked, might often lead them to have suicidal feelings and tendencies.
I'd like to share a personal experience I've needed to illustrate this point further:
(trigger warning)
My language teacher in senior high school was this strict old woman. She accustomed to teach from classes 6 through 12 rather than missed a day of class. She was always cranky and easily irritable, but we all were well aware of how much she adored her students. Aside from teaching in our school, she also cared for her granddaughter at home while her son and daughter-in-law went to work, and took tuition classes too. A few years after she retired from school, she had to give up teaching because her health wouldn't permit her to do this. Also, since her granddaughter would be a bit older, most of her time was put in school. It was the day before our language exam within the 12th grade, when someone in class announced that she had committed suicide. Later, her family found a suicide observe that said that she had been lonely which she didn't have anything to anticipate in life.
The onus lies on us to look out for the signs of depression in the elderly members of our families and to ensure that immediate treatment and care is provided to them for the same. We all have fond memories with our grandparents and, grand uncles and aunts. Minimal we can do to honor all that they have done for us when we needed them is to be together as they struggle through the last lap of life.
This is a list of some ways on how to help a senior person with depression:
- Talk to them
This is by far, the easiest solution and requires the least amount of effort. All of us have memories in our grandparents telling us fairytales, stories of their childhood, their life experiences, amongst other things. They have given us valuable advice whenever we needed it, and have helped shape us in to the persons we are. In return, minimal we can do for them is to talk to them. Even giving them a call from time to time and letting them know about what we're up to is enough to make them feel like they matter which they're still as involved in your life today as they were when you were a six-year-old.
Talk to them about your friends, tell them stories out of your work, and share your secrets and fears and embarrassing stories together. Grandparents have always been great at keeping secrets from your parents, haven't they?
- Listen
Even although it might seem like they don't cash going on in their lives, old people have a lot to say. In fact, the older they get, the more things they have to say. Listening to them will make them seem like they are still relevant; the fact that there is someone who is still willing to listen to them is sometimes enough to make them feel wanted, important and useful. And who knows, you might actually learn a great deal about life from all that they have to say.
- Help them regain interest in their hobbies
All elderly people, at some point or another in their lives, had a hobby or were thinking about something or the other. But with the responsibility of age, they might have ignored such hobbies and interest, and believe that they are incapable of doing them. One of the ways on how to help an elderly person with depression would be to help them regain that interest and drive. Reintroduce these to books by lending them a number of yours; help them with gardening once a week or so; get them supplies for knitting along with other crafts; help them get enrolled for any class they might be interested in. In this way, not only do you get to help them out with something, there is also to spend quality time with someone who loves and cares for you deeply.
- Go on walks
Walking is healthy no matter what your age is, and it is an activity that almost anyone can be a part of. It's also a great form of exercise requiring minimum effort, and the fresh air acts as a refreshing vary from the insipid indoors. If their health doesn't permit them to walk an excessive amount of, then even sitting in a park can help uplift their spirits and their health too.
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- Just be nice
Remind yourself, repeatedly, of the times when your grandparents were the ones taking care of you, without a single grimace or frown on their faces. It doesn't take much to be nice to people, and goes an extended in making them feel loved, looked after and wanted. Even if you see a senior stranger out on the streets, smile their way or help them out if they appear to be they need it. Little things such as these go a long way in making them feel less lonely.
The world is full of old people who are aching for love, and tired of living in isolation. According to a WHO report, between 2021 and 2021, the number of old people in this world should really rise to 2 billion from 900 million. Today, even the younger generation with its constant social networking presence and connectivity is lonely and miserable after a tiresome day. There is a rise in mental disorders both in the young and the old, for this reason lack of communication and compassion between people. If we all just do our bit in making each other feel less lonely and being kind to each other, then the world would be a much, much less lonelier place to live in.