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PUMPING IRONY: A Working Hypothesis

I’m not the kind of guy who reflexively shares personal financial details, and so i was a bit taken aback a few days ago to find My Lovely Wife and that i hip-deep in a conversation about income and expenses with an old colleague I’ll call The Professor. She’d retired not too long ago from her university position and wondered about our very own retirement plans.

“I figure I’ll work until I die,” I informed her over lunch. There was no pension forthcoming, I explained, we’re a one-income household, and my monthly Social Security check covers the mortgage although not much else. Besides, I really enjoy my job.

Still, we wondered how she was able to swing it, so we spent the following hour or so baring our respective financial souls, an exercise that revealed the difference from a meticulous financial planner (she) along with a couple whose fiscal foresight is not quite 20/20 (us). She downsized her housing when the market was favorable, hired a knowledgeable investment adviser, and walked from her job with little concern for her financial future. We’ve managed to sock some money away, but not nearly enough to ensure a comfortable retirement.

It probably doesn’t hurt the Professor is a single woman without any children and is thus spared from rescuing offspring from various short-term money woes — as well as those pesky college loans. Plus, the only real debates about spending and saving exist in her own mind, not with a partner who may see things differently. She knows the things that work for her, and she’s free to pursue it.

None of that argues against her approach or its successful execution. We’re just inside a different boat, rowing against the tide. She was desperate to escape a toxic workplace; I’m in no hurry to go away from a place that offers rewarding work among smart and caring colleagues. It’s not like I’m schlepping kegs of Grain Belt off a truck, like my dad did. There’s no reason why I can’t happily stay in the hand with words well into my eighth decade.

That would do a lot more than keep our checkbook balanced; it also might be good for my brain.

Binghamton University researchers recently released the outcomes of a study suggesting that retirement can lead to cognitive dysfunction. The report, published in the journal IZA Institute of Labor Economics, describes a 10-year survey of seniors in rural China who have been awarded a pension with the government’s New Rural Pension Scheme (NRPS). When compared with their counterparts who continued working, these pensioners displayed “significant negative effects” on cognition.

“Individuals in the areas that implement the NRPS score considerably lower than individuals who live in areas that don't offer the NRPS program,” study coauthor Plamen Nicolov explained inside a statement. “Over the almost 10 years since its implementation, this program led to a decline in cognitive performance by as high as almost a fifth of the standard deviation on the memory measures we examine.”

That’s not saying retirement is devoid of benefits. Nicolov and his team found that pensioners generally improved their health — more sleep, less alcohol and tobacco — after leaving the workforce. However these benefits were negated by a lack of mental activity and, especially, fewer social connections.

“Social engagement and connectedness should be the single most powerful factors for cognitive performance in senior years,” Nicolov noted.

These conclusions mirror the ones from earlier studies, including a 2021 analysis from University College London and King’s College London to come more than 3,000 pensioners over 30 years. That study, published within the European Journal of Epidemiology, discovered that verbal memory declined 38 percent faster than usual after participants had retired. Scientists also pointed to the lack of social interaction as the key variable.

I don’t worry too much about The Professor losing her mental acuity. She’s reinvented herself being an artisan, skilled in the art of marbling paper. She showed us the studio she shares with another artist and invited us to prevent by for her next class — she’s still teaching. She’ll be fine.

Meanwhile, I get to go to work again tomorrow. I’ll head into the office with whatever mental acuity I can muster, hoping that it’s enough to keep me gainfully employed for a later date. It’s not what I’d call a retirement plan, but it might just be a healthier strategy.

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